Do you find being a dad is child's play?

Yes
No

50% of men said they wished they had more time to spend with
their family.

Being a dad is brilliant, right? Probably the best thing you've ever done? But it doesn't come without some serious challenges and compromises. Sleep levels plummet, stress levels rise and money worries increase. As for your sex life, well, you're lucky if you can bag a kiss what with all those late night feeds and nappy changes – let alone get any action under the sheets.

Well done, you.

Sounds like you've got everything under control, so just keep doing your thing. If anything changes, make sure you check out the advice via the links on the right.

You can always call us on 0300 100 1234 and take our Relationship Checker to see how things are going. Or why not check out some of the other areas we might be able to help you with here.

Common problems

Many new dads become overly tired as they try to be a good parent and hold down a job. It's a tough time for your relationship too, as suddenly there's someone else getting all the attention and affection. Many couples begin to argue more and your sex life can fall by the wayside. Money worries add to the mix and make what should be a brilliant time seem like a bit of a mission. But don't worry, help is
at hand.

Make time for your other half

You might have heard that before, but it's sound advice. Put time aside, get a babysitter (no, that doesn't make you a bad parent) and get back to being a couple again. It might seem like a long time away, but the kids will eventually leave home and you need to have something left when they do.

(1/5)

Sleep in the same bed

Sometimes one of you just has to get a good night's sleep, so it can be a lifesaver to kip somewhere else. But don't do it for long. Sleeping in the same bed is an important part of being a couple – it keeps you close even if you're not having sex all that often.

(2/5)

Don't stress about sex

It's normal for your sex life to take a back seat when the kids are small. You're both tired and there's no point going through the motions when you'd rather get some sleep. But don't completely neglect it – you never know, you might want another baby in a couple of years!

(3/5)

Be social

It's easy to get trapped beneath a mountain of dirty nappies and never-ending school runs. But don't. You need your mates and family to help you through and share advice on how to manage your family life.
Put the effort in and don't be afraid to accept help when it's offered.

(4/5)

Remember you've both
had a long day

Whether you've had a long slog at work or you've been holding the baby all day, life can be pretty knackering for both of you. Keep that in mind before refusing to take the bin out or snapping if they're not home for bath time. If you're having issues try and plan in some time when you're not too tired to talk it over without rowing.

(5/5)

Back to overview

Other helpful stuff

Visit www.the3ofus.org.uk for support on being first time parents or grab a copy of Babyshock! – our very own book on getting used to being parents.

If there's anything still playing on your mind, why not call us for a completely confidential chat on 0300 100 1234 or use our free Live Chat service. service. You can also find out about a one-off Relationship Check-up service available at your local Relate Centre, created with men in mind.