Do you spend more time arguing than making up?


23% of men have slept in separate beds after arguing with their other half. 20% have bought a gift to say sorry too.

Arguments are part and parcel of most relationships, and can actually be a good way of getting things out in the open and clearing the air. But if you feel like you're arguing too much, often about the same old stuff, it's probably not doing you or your relationship any good.

We can help with that. Check out our common problems and tips, or simply get in touch. You'll find all the advice and support you need to try and make everyone that little bit happier.

Well done, you.

Sounds like you've got everything under control, so just keep doing your thing. If anything changes, make sure you check out the advice via the links on the right.

You can always call us on 0300 100 1234 and take our Relationship Checker to see how things are going. Or why not check out some of the other areas we might be able to help you with here.

Common problems

If you sometimes argue about who's putting the bins out, you've probably not got a lot to worry about. But a lot of couples find they get into arguing habits that are hard to break. It might be you argue about the same things all the time, or that the way you argue actually makes things worse. Some arguments can end in one or both of you not speaking to each other, or saying pretty hurtful things that can cause long-term damage. If arguments regularly end in screaming matches or floods of tears, it's probably worth doing something about it before it becomes a destructive pattern.

What are you arguing about?

Work out what it is that you're actually arguing about. Is it always the
same thing? Can you agree to sit down and work out this one issue without it turning into a screaming match? If not, give us a call and we'll try and help.


How do you argue?

Ok, sounds a bit weird, but look at the way you argue. Are you
overly aggressive? Can you take criticism? By looking at the way you argue you're much more likely to recognise warning signs and keep a level head.


Take a time out

If you feel a row is brewing, take time out to think about what you need, what your partner needs and whether there's a solution or compromise that works for both of you.


Spot the warning signs

Keep an eye on how you feel inside. Look out for that knot in your stomach, breathlessness, even tears. If you think you're close to losing it, give yourself some space to take a time out and calm down.


What's your beef?

Ask yourself whether what you're arguing about is really the main issue. If it's covering up a bigger problem, be honest and take steps to sort it out.


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Other helpful stuff

One of the most serious outcomes of arguing is when a couple comes to blows or one partner physically attacks the other. If your relationship has got to this stage, you need to get help urgently. The BBC Hitting Home website has information, help and support for anyone affected by domestic violence. If there's anything still playing on your mind, why not call us for a completely confidential chat on 0300 100 1234 or use our free Live Chat service. You can also find out about a one-off Relationship Check-up service available at your local Relate Centre, created with men in mind