Would you ever cheat on your partner?

Yes
No

31% of men class a sexy phone call as having an affair.

25% say flirty texts or emails count as an affair too.

Having an affair can feel pretty tempting sometimes. After all, the excitement of someone new can seem like an easy fix if your relationship is going a bit pear shaped. We don't say you can't repair a relationship after an affair, but we do say it's not a good way to solve problems. Affairs cause massive heartache and stress – and there's no guarantee your relationship can survive it.

Well done, you.

Sounds like you've got everything under control, so just keep doing your thing. If anything changes, make sure you check out the advice via the links on the right.

You can always call us on 0300 100 1234 and take our Relationship Checker to see how things are going. Or why not check out some of the other areas we might be able to help you with here.

Common problems

If you've just found out about an affair, then it's likely you're not in a good place right now. If you're having an affair and want to find a way to tell your other half, you'll probably be feeling stressed and possibly guilty about what's going on. You might also just be sick and tired of lying and inventing excuses for not coming home on time.

If you want to tell your other half and come clean, the first thing you need to think about is how they'll take it. The second thing is to think about why it happened and what that means about your relationship. It is possible to create a new, stronger relationship after an affair, but the costs can be very high.

Think first

If you're considering an affair, think about how it will affect your other half first. It might be exciting to start with, but the stress and pain it can cause really isn't worth it. There are better ways of getting your relationship back on track.

(1/7)

Is it over?

If you're sure that your relationship is over, end it before you move on to seeing someone else. A clean slate is better for everyone involved.

(2/7)

Why are you doing it?

If you're having an affair, think about why you're doing it and how you can chat to your other half about it. If you really want things to work, you need to end the affair for good.

(3/7)

Take responsibility

Step up. If you're trying to rebuild your relationship be honest and hold your hands up, explain why you started the affair in the first place. Don't make it out to be their fault – you need to take responsibility before you can move on.

(4/7)

Take time out

If you've found out your partner is having an affair, try to take stock before confronting them. We know that's a big ask, but having a huge row when you don't know all the facts isn't the way to go. Take some time out, stay calm, then ask them to sit down with you and talk openly and honestly about what's happened.

(5/7)

Make sure you're both
on board

If you and your other half are considering an open relationship, make sure you're both fully on board before hopping into bed with someone else. The reality of someone you love getting it on with another person might be a lot less exciting than the fantasy.

(6/7)

It's a big deal

Affairs are a big deal. You don't have to fix it all on your own either. Give us a call and we can help you move on in the best way.

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Back to overview

Other helpful stuff

You can see our full list of tips on affairs here.

It might be worth checking out Julia Cole's book After the Affair for more advice too.

If there's anything still playing on your mind, why not call us for a completely confidential chat on 0300 100 1234 or use our free Live Chat service. You can also find out about a one-off Relationship Check-up service available at your local Relate Centre, created with men in mind.